Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Forgetfullness, exhaustion and when not to make decisions

Over the weekend, we moved. I am very thankful that people came to help move stuff! However, due to packing everything myself (and I am still finishing small stuff) I was extremely exhausted. In this state, I forgot that we had cleaned out a bunch of CD's and DVD's several months ago - and became convinced my husband had sold them without my knowledge. This made me VERY upset, and convinced that I he was as one friend put it "parting me out".

In this emotionally overwrought state, I shared my suspicions with several friends and family members and requested advice on what to do. While the advice was not the best, nor the worst and none of it resonated with me, I appreciate the time that every one took to talk to me. I realized I have been guilty of only sharing the bad things and drama moments with some of my friends because of their advice/responses. I will be diligently working on finding the good things in life. So in that respect, I owe my friends a huge thank you.

Late in the day on Sunday, one friend (a guy) was able to phrase the paradox of my relationship with my husband very well. His behavior causes problems and angers me, but he makes me happy. I know my hubby loves me, and some of the behavior issues are more a matter of my response to his behavior. I am working on those too.

Later that evening I spoke to Robert and mentioned the things I thought were gone, he pointed out that we had gone together to sell them before my mom came to visit in March. I immediately remembered doing so and felt awful for jumping to such dastardly conclusions. However, I let myself off the hook due to sheer physical and mental exhaustion.

So the lessons I took away from all this, I need to quit focusing on the bad moments, and share the good more often. I really need to keep stuff to myself when I am tired. Never contemplate life altering decisions when you are bone tired; and Robert and I have some things to work on, but we really are in love, and we both want this marriage to work.

It will take us some time to get everything running smoothly, but I have faith in our abilities to get through almost anything together.

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